All posts tagged abuse

The Journey Begins

Published April 24, 2014 by talentedpink


Living life has been a dreadful experience for the most part for me. I have been hurting my entire life, and it is practically all I know. I would like to change that, and little by little that is exactly what I plan to do!

Writing has always been a way for me to get my feelings out. It has been a huge source of comfort and a way for me to see the world through my own eyes. I have always had great intuition and the ability to see myself in ways I’m not sure other people have the ability to do. I am completely honest with myself no matter what. I treat myself the same way I do others, upfront; direct and unforgivably honest. Writing helps me do that. I don’t know how many times I have sat and wrote and come up with epiphanies about myself that I couldn’t have seen any other way. It has been extremely helpful in my growth as a human being.


When I realized I wanted to be a writer I thought I would write non-fiction because I’m not sure I am creative enough to write fiction. I didn’t even know where to begin with a blog, let alone writing books and memoirs. What I realized when I started to write my blog was that I have a lot of things I need to work through. Very difficult things; like being abused since I was just a toddler or the horrific marriage I have endured.

I have never truly dealt with any of these things, but as I continued to write I found they were coming out of me in my daily writings without me even trying. I found it very natural to write about these things and it helped my psyche tremendously to write and work through them. It also started to be revealed to me all the many other hidden, underlying things I never shared with anyone.

For instance, I hide. I hide from everyone. There is no person on this green earth I don’t hide from. I have hidden agendas, hidden thoughts, hidden feelings, and pretty much a complete hidden person that I have not shared in this world. I suppose to some extent I always knew it, but never admitted it. Not until I started blogging. And it just came out! I didn’t even mean it. It just happened. Through this journey and through my story; people will begin to see me, the real me. There is no hiding here. I plan on being completely upfront and honest about everything I feel and everything I am. We will get to experience this development together. I will even expose the reasons I have kept hidden for so long; as well as exposing lots of other things too!

So this is my journey.


During this blogging journey I will not only find myself, but will heal myself also; as well as become an even better writer and hopefully one day be very successful at it. My idea of success probably isn’t the same idea as what other people see as success. I merely want to get things published and be able to live off my work. I don’t need to be famous; though that would be a huge perk! I merely want to feel accomplished for my own self. I want to be proud of myself and actually be ME; the real me. As long as I can accomplish all of that, I will be successful!

You can click on the link below to read my about page

It’s All About Me


Just Nod If You Can Hear Me

Published April 21, 2014 by talentedpink

child sadness

No one tries to listen
None even bother
Why would they want to
No one really cares

Carrying all the burdens
of this life and the past
Holding them so tightly
time slips away so fast

I try to move forward
but the pain still remains
I try to pretend
but forever I am stained

I pour out my emotions
lay them all out
but what hurts the most
no one hears me shout

I try to be better
I try to be good
I dig a little deeper
but the pain is all there is

I move forward
but always turn around
trying to find a cure
but hurt is all I see

I beg and plead and cry
but no one wants to hear
all the suffering inside
just pretend it isn’t there

I cry and hurt
what a pervert
what a pig
make the sadness stop

I do the best I can
with the little I’ve been given
I just wish I knew the answer
how do you forgive him

But no one tries to hear
no one even listens
I’m dying here inside
if you pay attention

I’m damaged and I’m broken
to which you can’t repair
but all you see
is worthless; not the other side

messed up

I do the best I can
to get through each day
It’s rough and tough and painful
but I’m doing just okay

I need to know I matter
I need to know you care
I need to know you understand
I need a helpful hand

I’m try to get through it
I’m pushing really hard
I’m doing what I can
I’m getting there somehow

I feel all alone
with this burden I’ve been dealt
As though I asked for it
even anyone could care

I do this every day
and no one even knows
I’m putting this out there
let your understanding show

Can anyone understand
Does anyone see
What the hell is happening
Deep inside of me

abusive words

I wish there were wounds
Bruises or breaks
because then they could all see
each time he speaks I shake

I hear the footsteps
on the stairs
I feel the standing
of all my hairs


I cower and hide
I cry and pretend
I’m not really there
It’s all in my head

But he’s right there in front of me
each and every time
whenever your not there
is when he does the crime

I cry and I cry
I beg you to stay
but there you go again
there you go away

It’s killing me slowly
but no one even knows
this pain is just too much
to ever let it go

Just Nod If You Can Hear Me
Let me know your there
tell me you understand
that your well aware

I need to know you get it
It didn’t just disappear
I look normal as usual
but I’m living in pure fear

Hear my words
Hear my pain
Hear my struggle
It’s all in vain

Look around
can you see
what all of this
has done to me

It’s not made up
It’s still THAT bad
I can’t stop hurting
I’m still so sad

not listening

The pain remains
The struggle is there
I am not normal
So don’t you dare

I see your judging
I see your thoughts
I know you don’t get it
How hard I’ve fought

But I’m still here
I’m still going strong
Doing what I can
With all that went wrong

Try to stay with me
Try to understand
What I’m dealing with
I do what I can

I hope to get better
To do as I please
And live my life quite happy
To finally be free

But that day is not today
Tomorrow doesn’t look good either
But hopefully really soon
I’ll be better forever

I need your love and understanding
not judgment and demeaning
I need to be supported, so
Nod if you can hear me

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