Living life has been a dreadful experience for the most part for me. I have been hurting my entire life, and it is practically all I know. I would like to change that, and little by little that is exactly what I plan to do!
Writing has always been a way for me to get my feelings out. It has been a huge source of comfort and a way for me to see the world through my own eyes. I have always had great intuition and the ability to see myself in ways I’m not sure other people have the ability to do. I am completely honest with myself no matter what. I treat myself the same way I do others, upfront; direct and unforgivably honest. Writing helps me do that. I don’t know how many times I have sat and wrote and come up with epiphanies about myself that I couldn’t have seen any other way. It has been extremely helpful in my growth as a human being.
When I realized I wanted to be a writer I thought I would write non-fiction because I’m not sure I am creative enough to write fiction. I didn’t even know where to begin with a blog, let alone writing books and memoirs. What I realized when I started to write my blog was that I have a lot of things I need to work through. Very difficult things; like being abused since I was just a toddler or the horrific marriage I have endured.
I have never truly dealt with any of these things, but as I continued to write I found they were coming out of me in my daily writings without me even trying. I found it very natural to write about these things and it helped my psyche tremendously to write and work through them. It also started to be revealed to me all the many other hidden, underlying things I never shared with anyone.
For instance, I hide. I hide from everyone. There is no person on this green earth I don’t hide from. I have hidden agendas, hidden thoughts, hidden feelings, and pretty much a complete hidden person that I have not shared in this world. I suppose to some extent I always knew it, but never admitted it. Not until I started blogging. And it just came out! I didn’t even mean it. It just happened. Through this journey and through my story; people will begin to see me, the real me. There is no hiding here. I plan on being completely upfront and honest about everything I feel and everything I am. We will get to experience this development together. I will even expose the reasons I have kept hidden for so long; as well as exposing lots of other things too!
So this is my journey.
During this blogging journey I will not only find myself, but will heal myself also; as well as become an even better writer and hopefully one day be very successful at it. My idea of success probably isn’t the same idea as what other people see as success. I merely want to get things published and be able to live off my work. I don’t need to be famous; though that would be a huge perk! I merely want to feel accomplished for my own self. I want to be proud of myself and actually be ME; the real me. As long as I can accomplish all of that, I will be successful!
You can click on the link below to read my about page